Sharing a meal can be viewed as a form of non-sexual intercourse
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To celebrate a special occasion, my wife (my first ministry) and I dined at a nice restaurant last night. Hey, since we now live in the back of the woods in rural Tennessee, going out for dinner is something to write about😆. It was one of those places that serve ice-cold water in glass bottles, and they replace it with a fresh bottle and new glasses before it gets half empty. Even an electric pepper grinder with LED lighting. While the food was excellent and our waitress treated us like royalty, the most important point I want to make is about intimacy.
Enjoying a meal with your lawfully wedded spouse is a form of intimacy, so significant that it can be considered a type of non-sexual intercourse. This perspective aligns with why the Scriptures advise on whom we should or should not invite into our homes, whom to eat with, and what kind of fellowship we should maintain. Unfortunately, many churches today have lost this understanding.
The term non-sexual intercourse in Latin (intercursus) describes a special and intimate connection between individuals. It is defined as “an exchange, especially of thoughts or feelings; communion. An act of running between, from intercurrere, meaning to run between.”
Just as partaking in the Lord’s Supper during a Holy Communion service is an act of deep intimacy, a meal between a husband and wife should be viewed with the same seriousness—that it constitutes a non-sexual form of intercourse.
I often wish I had the testimonies of famous historical figures who claimed they never shared a meal alone with any woman other than their wife. However, as a police officer in Los Angeles (LAPD), where mandatory partnerships are a requirement, that was not always feasible. There was a certain discomfort in enjoying a nice meal at a restaurant with an attractive female partner while my wife was at home. At times, we even dined at places frequented by celebrities. If I could start over, for religious reasons, I would refuse to be assigned a female partner (see comments).
This belief has become my conviction, which I share with you today. Orthodoxy matters, and practicing that orthodoxy (orthopraxy) is even more important. While I never strayed with a partner, it’s no surprise that the adultery rate in law enforcement is so high.
Men, cherish your wives, not your partners.
“Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.” – Ecclesiastes 9:9
“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” – Proverbs 5:18-19
“But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolator, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.’ – 1 Corinthians 5:11
“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” – 1 Corinthians 10:31
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” – 1 Peter 3:7
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About The Author
Bill Rhetts
An ordinary sinner saved by an Extraordinary Savior. Radically saved, and radically changed, by a Radical God. For more details, see the above 'About me' tab.
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One day a Watch Commander whom I have much respect for pulled me aside. He mentioned how there was an increase in adultery in our division as well as some alleged sexual harassment complaints. And that a high percentage of recruits coming out of the academy were “young females.” He asked if I minded that he specifically assigned females to me as my trainees. Apprehensively, I accepted his “off the record” assignment. He did this because he appreciated my witness as a Christian and trusted I would not take advantage of those temptations. But what I witnessed was that the initiators and provocateurs of sexual harassment were the women. I remember one of many incidents where a young female rookie placed her Maglite (or Streamlight) between her legs and simulated masturbating it while she looked at me. Had I filed a sexual harassment beef, I would have been the laughing stock in the Division, certainly in the locker room. Then, having to be a witness in an Internal Affairs investigation regarding another on-duty relationship that became a distraction from work. I have so many stories, not only could I write a blog article, but I could write a book about the many incidents where the increase of female officers on the job fostered an environment of distraction, frequent fornication, and serial adultery among officers. And then there was the lesbian component that was troublesome for straight female officers.
Our Feb 14th, 2026 dinner together.
.Last night our fountain was blessed, as me and the wife of my youth rejoiced together (from Prov. 5:18). We started with prayer, making sure we understood that our time together had nothing to do with Saint Valentine, but everything about Christ, and the agapaō love God demonstrated exclusively toward His church. And our agapē love for each other. Then, our meal began with these crispy Brussel Sprouts with Bleu Cheese Sriracha, Bleu Cheese Crumbles, and Bacon pieces. Then, some stuffed Mushrooms with Spinach, Three Cheeses and Bacon.
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For Him: Lollipop Lamb Chops, with Bleu Cheese Hashbrowns and Asparagus.
For Her: Roasted Prime Rib (16oz), with their House Potatoes. You can see the gunshot bullet entrance wound, I mean the hole where the spit was inserted thru the rib roast. Side note. Looking forward to putting a Standing Rib on our rotisserie at home soon.
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If she doesn’t like me licking the plate at home, I’m sure this place would be a no-no. I was hoping she’s make a trip to the ladies room to powder her nose, I could then sneak a lick; but o’well.
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I was taught “Leave no man behind!” But I left no lamb meat behind on these bones.
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We left with leftovers in this large paper bag. I think she only consumed 5 of the ounces of her 16oz Prime Rib. Nice to see paper not plastic.
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On the way out I decided to play piano for the audience. But since I don’t know how to play, I did a great job at faking it.
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“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” – 1 Corinthians 10:31
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“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.” – Proverbs 5:18
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“Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.” – Ecclesiastes 9:9
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”So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” – Ephesians 5:28